Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
