Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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