How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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