I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
