you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she told me i tasted like america
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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