everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
