come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
