i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
