If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
