So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to make out with him forever
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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