Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
