is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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