Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
