I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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