Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
