he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
