Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
