I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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