Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

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(760): View more from California

Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...

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(785): View more from Kansas

Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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(512): View more from Texas

I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....

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(909): View more from California

I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...

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