craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
