So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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