i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
