Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
