oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
