i barfeds in our rink
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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