why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
