Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize