I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
