She went from zero to smokin in five shots
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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