Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
try to milk me bitch
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
