I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
