My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
