i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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