To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
