I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
