I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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