Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
