On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
