after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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