eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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