the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
