the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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