I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
