I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
