her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
