My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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