New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
