Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
