So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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