me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
