did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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