I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
