guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
