i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
