he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
