yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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