Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
