yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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