M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
