Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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