I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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