I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
