Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
