I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
