girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
