Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
