went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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